last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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