I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
