whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize