fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
