So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Alive.
So much puke
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
third nipple confirmed
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
