Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
