I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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