I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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