I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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