Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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