We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
