I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
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