woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize