whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize