i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
