My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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