Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
