omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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