Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
