The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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