Don't make out with my wife yet
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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