I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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