I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
