You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
