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After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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