Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I think people are normalizing furries
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
