The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
