Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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