if i died would you start the facebook group?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
