I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
