Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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