Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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