I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
COCAINE IS GR8
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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