I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
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i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
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I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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