I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
