I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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