am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
