Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
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