So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
