My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
