so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize