Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have feelings that need drinking.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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