I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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