brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
i've created a new STD.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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