literally had 100 drinks last night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
