It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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