so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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