Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
