first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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