I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All I want is dick and wine.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
