Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
