There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
