There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
