Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
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I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
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my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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