Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
