My cat gives me a boner
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Actions speak louder than pants.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
