Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
