I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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