Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Found the puke drawer
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
