remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
