you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
