You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
