Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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